What are the key differences between a new vs. seasoned therapist? Good question!
Today I want to share my experience of being a slightly more seasoned therapist versus my time as a grad student/pre-licensed therapist.
The experiences I am going to share are purely anecdotal. I’m sure a lot of people can relate with my experiences, but there may be things you absolutely don’t relate with at all.
15 Differences Between “Newbie” Marie & “Seasoned” Marie
1) Saying “Yes” To Every Referral
One of the things I felt like I needed to do in those early days was say “yes” to every single new client that I was qualified to treat. My reasoning was that beggars can’t be choosers. So if I was picky about who I worked with then I wouldn’t have a full caseload.
Since then my thinking has changed drastically! If you have followed me for any amount of time, you know that I’m all about niching down when possible. So I now have a very specific niche. I am privileged enough to only accept clients that fit right in my speciality.
2) Over-preparing For Sessions
When I first started out, and well into my licensed years as a therapist I felt like I needed to over-prep for every single session. I would spend anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour preparing for each one just to make sure I was on my A game.
Probably more than half the time we’d end up scrapping whatever I’d planned because new things would pop up. While we’d still use the same techniques that I was implementing, I’d have to pivot quite a bit because life happens.
At this point, I’ve rehearsed these tools over and over and over with clients so many times. So much so that by the time we’re signing off at the end of a session I already know what the plan is for next time.
So generally now I spend 2 -3 minutes preparing for each session beforehand just to refresh my memory of where we left off. Then as I meet with the client, I check in to see if they would like to pick up where we left off or if there’s anything new that has come up.
3) Anxiety Right Before Session
As I was reflecting on being a new vs. seasoned therapist there was a specific memory that came to mind. I remember being so anxious in the minutes leading up to a session about whether my client was coming, if they were already sitting in the waiting room, and how long I should wait before calling a late/no-show client.
There were times I was pacing around my office thinking about these things, checking the clock, poking my head out into the waiting room over and over again. Doesn’t that sound exhausting? I feel exhausted remembering that!
Now, if a client is late, I receive it. In the interim I do something I enjoy. Maybe I play a game of solitaire on my phone, or something else that feels lowkey and can help pass a few minutes. I kinda enjoy that time now.
4) Afraid of Acknowledging Mistakes
I also noticed a pretty significant difference in how I approached consult groups or supervision in my early days compared to now.
Early in my career I was terrified by the idea of revealing that maybe I made a mistake in a session. Which, of course, I made mistakes in sessions! We all make mistakes in sessions because we’re all human. And in those early days you’re still learning.
5) Sassy “Know It All”
And I really hate admitting this next part, but in those consult group type settings, because I wanted to look like I knew what I was doing, I was the “know it all”.
If someone is feeling stuck, and they ask a question and you feel pretty confident you know the answer to the question, by all means share your knowledge. That’s the whole point!
But…I definitely had some sass.
So now I take a much more humble mindset when it comes to asking for help, or offering knowledge that I have to share.
6) When To Consult & What To Share
A big difference in being a new vs. seasoned therapist is that I now have a much clearer sense of when it’s a good idea to seek consult. I also have learned what specific details about a case I need to share in order to get adequate consultation.
7) Uncomfortable With Unknown Experiences
I also remember that if my client brought up something that was outside of my world view, belief system, or life experiences I felt so uncomfortable. I didn’t know what to do with that discomfort.
My response would be trying to look like everything was just fine, even though I had no idea what to do.
Now I feel much more comfortable with experiences that, to me, are rather foreign. I now respond with curiosity.
8) Second-Guessing Everything
Another thing that I used to do in the early days was second-guess almost everything I would do with my clients.
Particularly once the session ended and I’d sit down to write my notes. I would have a little internal crisis moment. Questions like: “Do I even know how to be a therapist?” would creep in. I would freak out and try to contact other folks, or do some frantic googling. I wanted to see if whatever I implemented with a client was the right call.
Now, I feel much more comfortable after each session. I’d say what shifted was rather than second-guessing what happened in a specific session, I’ll reflect more on all of the sessions I’ve had with a client as a whole. Or maybe the last 5 sessions.
If it feels like we’ve had a few sessions in a row that just aren’t quite clicking overall, then I’ll definitely consult with folks.
9) “Success” Based On Client Outcomes
Another big change for me is how I define success as a therapist. I used to define success based on each and every client improving. If I ever saw evidence that it looked like my client had not improved to the extent that they wished, I felt like I had failed.
There will always be clients who don’t improve! When that happens we definitely should reflect on that, evaluate and seek consult. But, I don’t necessarily think that that means we’re not successful.
Because then the conclusion would be that all therapists are unsuccessful. We all have clients who, at least sometimes, don’t improve.
10) Feeling Stuck = Failing
Back in the day if I ever felt stuck with a particular client I used to feel like I was a complete failure.
Now, when I feel stuck with a client, I just think: “Probably another set of eyes looking at this situation will help me know how to move next.”
11) “Professional” Front When Meeting Other Therapists
Another difference between being a new vs. seasoned therapist is I used to feel like I needed to have a front of “professionalism” when I met a new therapist.
Now, I feel like I should just be Marie!
12) Hiding In Professional Clothing
I also felt like I needed to dress a certain part. There were times when I wore suits to my practicum experiences. With heels!
And I’m not saying that people should/should not wear suits or heels to work. But, for me, that very much felt like I was putting on a suit of professionalism. Quite literally. But, I didn’t quite feel like myself.
Now, I definitely think about my appearance when I show up for work. I like to look like I put some thought into the way I’m looking. However, I like to present as some version of me. Because, hopefully showing up as Marie, is going to be the most helpful way to show up for my clients.
13) Avoid Self-Disclosure Always
I used to be of the belief that it’s almost never appropriate to self-disclose. To the point of being awkward with my clients.
For example, if a client asked me if I had a dog, I would awkwardly stammer a nonresponse.
If I shut a client’s questions about my personal life down, then the conversation gets cut short. Whatever direction we might have been headed in in therapy gets interrupted or derailed because I’m not willing to answer a simple question.
I’ve since changed my approach. Now I do like to find ways to try to lean into self-disclosure if it’s apparent that it’s for the client’s benefit.
When self-disclosure happens in the right moments it can help our clients feel more connected with us. It can also propel the conversations forward in a helpful way.
14) Super Busy Caseload = Success
Another belief that I used to hold in the early days was that having a busy caseload was a sign of success as a therapist. This one took longer than some of the other beliefs to let go of.
If your goal is to have a busy caseload then by all means have a busy caseload. But, I’ve since come to embrace that whatever size caseload makes sense for me in my life, in a given life season, is success for me.
Right now I only see clients one day a week. At most I will see 8 clients in one week. That’s my full caseload.
15) Knowledge Has Biggest Impact on Outcomes
Another difference between Marie as a new vs. seasoned therapist is that early on I believed that having the most knowledge was the most important thing when it came to being an effective therapist clinically.
Since then, I’ve come to fully embrace that the most important thing is being present with our clients. Our knowledge supports our ability to be present and care for them. But, knowledge is not the most important thing. If you have the knowledge and you’re not present, then you’re not going to get anywhere helpful.
I’m sure there are more things I could name as differences between being a new vs. seasoned therapist. But, as I reflect on the list above, it seems clear that I was anxiety-prone in those early days. And quite insecure. All of us can be prone to anxiety and feeling insecure.
There is also something to be said about doing something over and over again in helping to build comfortability. This was true for me.
More Early Career Advice
If you are early on in the therapy field, you may be interested in checking out my video on tips for early career therapists.
As I noted above, I was anxiety-prone towards the beginning of my career. Here are some tips for new therapists who may be feeling anxious like I was.
Until next time, from one therapist to another: I wish you well.
-Marie
Photo by Edward Howell on Unsplash
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